Just thought I would ask. What would you do if you got a fly caught in the back of your throat? Me, being a vegetarian, I spat of course leaving the poor thing looking dazed laying on the path. I checked on the way back and he had gone, so being deep in my mouth didn't have any major effect on him....thankfully! You see, apart from their love of getting into my mouth, I think fly's are under rated as an member of the animal kingdom as without them....well think how high the world would be in shit.....hummmm...... thinking about it somewhat, its a shame “they” can't invent a fly which eats politicians; celebrities and boy racers. One day eh, one day.
Sorry, I have just realised that this is a blog about cycling and my efforts to get fit but I wondered off to talk about fly's. Sorry about that! Anyway, what have I been up to today then I hear you ask..... well, I went off to the Tissington Trail near Ashbourne in Derbyshire.
The Tissington Trail is a long distance (well about 14 miles) cycling path built on the route of a disused railway (sort of glad its disused... don't think I would fancy my chances against a 100 ton loco!) which winds its way towards Buxton through some pretty English countryside....yes, I've been reading the Peak District Website....a website which also calls the route “flat...” Like feck! Do you call a 700 foot plus climb in about 8 miles flat???? Okay, okay, I know that works out at around 4% (or 1 in 25 if you are old like me), but after a while it takes its toil!
So, off this morning I went to Ashbourne after taking my bike apart and hanging it on the back of the car...always worried about covering the lights and thus, giving the police a reason to stop me and “fine” me (remind me to rant about the police being able to “fine” people one day!). Anyway, (sorry, digressing again!), how comes when ever I go towards Ashbourne I get caught behind a slow moving vehicle?.... today it was a bloody road roller! Sigh. My planned arrival time (8am), slipped somewhat to 8.30am
Why do I like to cycle that early? Well, I don't like getting too hot and today was quite a warm day with light winds (although the Peaks do have a micro climate and it can rain on you when the rest of the country is dry) and I hate riding with other people...they tend to go faster than me and have better bikes than my BSO.
The ride then....well, the first few miles up the trail (I have done it 4 times before I think) are always a struggle as your legs (actually, I wish I could use your legs instead of mine as you could deal with the pain later!)... sorry, my legs take a bit of time to warm up. They soon did but then came the fly problem...see above. Yuk. How comes they always fly into your mouth when you are breathing hard? As I said about, its a gentle slope but does go on, and on, and on, and on and, yes on! Finally, just about 3 miles after Alsop, it flattens out and in fact for a short while, goes down hill. Finally, 1hr 50 minutes later I arrive at the signal box at Harrington (I think) and decide that I have had enough and won't go all the way.
Now you would think that coming back would be fun; I mean, about 8 miles going down hill....well, they would without the morons who come out on a Saturday morning either to walk their dogs (a unfit bunch of half wolves they were too. Oh, and if that mutt tries to bite me again, its going to get my bike up its arse) or to “teach” their children how to cycle. Why, oh why, oh why do “they” pollute the cycle paths of the country? Look, a crash helmet and a bike two sizes too big for them will not make them a cyclist! The one I almost knocked off should have been on the other side of the path AND should have been looking at where he was going. Twat! While I am moaning... “OI fat man, get out of the way!!” Why stop in the middle of the path to have a chat to your wife without being aware of the cyclist bearing down on you?!
Yes, by 10.30 all the world and its arsehole were out on the trail meaning that the ride back down was full of stops and starts. Sigh. I did however, manage to overtake someone (she was about 4! I hope that improves my FCN!)
Anyway (which you will no doubt discover is one of my favourite words), 3 hours on my bike and 22.5 miles covered. Not world beating but enjoyable neither the less.
Oh, you want the route.... here goes.
http://gb.mapometer.com/en/cycling/route_185162.html
Sorry for ranting.
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