Dear Mrs School Run Mum

I really appreciate that your “Little Johnny” has done well getting a place in the Grammar School and of course he is far, far too important to walk home, or indeed take one of the many many coaches the school lays on to taken the gifted ones home but, please, be aware of what you are doing when pulling across oncoming traffic. I know for certain that my grand children would one day like to meet me. So, next time a fat bloke on a bike is coming down a 5% hill at about 20mph, please consider:

1) Whether instead of looking at the space which has just opened up on the school drive, its worth peaking up the road to see if anyone is coming down the lane you are about to cross.

2) Whether the fat bloke on the bike who has just shouted “Wwwwwwoooooohhh!!!! “ at the top of his voice and who is now going sideways on this bike trying to control a slide is actually talking to you.

3) Whether “little Johnny” would be better off walking to school or getting one of the coaches. I assume you would have had your excuses ready if said fat bloke had ploughed straight into the side of your car. I understand that: “Sorry Mate, I did not see you” and “you should be wearing a helmet” are acceptable in such cases.

Please consider yourself lucky that said fat bloke has much more sense than you and had seen you and worked out that you were likely to be unaware of your surroundings; locked in a grey tin box as you are and had slowed to around 10mph. He will live to see another day where as, you and “little Johnny” are in incredible danger every time you spend more than a few moments together in a car.

Perhaps, next time you may not be as lucky.

Regards

Fat Bloke on a bike

Route: http://www.bikehike.co.uk/mapview.php?id=19395

Distance: 21.09 Total 89.52 To go: 191.48

Height climbed: 593 Total: 2838